So, according to my doctor, by the time I hit the 3-month mark, the Lupron should be out of my system completely. That happens to be in two days. I have been feeling a lot better over the last few weeks, which is why I kind of stopped writing here. I do not mean to imply that I have had whatsoever no pain, but it's been bearable. I still have felt achy (like I have the flu) most every day. The joint pain is significantly less. Although, yesterday I really started to notice my joints in my hands and my knees hurt. Today my knees were throbbing...and it was only from sitting down in a chair. I also have had quite a bit of cramping in my pelvic area over the last week or so. My ovaries (mainly the left) has been hurting throughout this 'treatment'. I think the endometriosis is back. It must have never left, but just not have been painful because my ovaries and all that were put to sleep for a while. I was near tears today thinking about all this. I went through hell and back with this Lupron, and it didn't help. I knew that the endo would probably come back someday, but according to the pamphlet, it was supposed to be in 5 years or so. I haven't even had a period yet....so I can only imagine how much more the cramping will be when that is factored in as well.
Am I going to have this joint pain for the rest of my life? I mean, sure, it's not as bad as it was....but I'm still in pain. I sit down for 10 minutes, and my knees hurt, I hold a phone for a few minutes, and my hand and wrist hurt. I didn't sign on for this. Had I known then what I know now....I would never in a million years taken this drug. :'(
Monday, February 7, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Week 8 on Lupron | December 29 - January 4
1/4 - My memory has been not-so-well again. It started a few days ago, but hasn't gotten as bad as it did before. I hope it doesn't get any worse than it is now. The pain has been ongoing...nothing new in that department.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Week 7 on Lupron | December 22nd - 28th
12/22 - Well, the joint pain seems to slowly be getting worse. I'm trying to hold off taking Dilaudid. I feel like crying. I went to the doctor today (just a follow up for another procedure I had a few weeks ago), and he wants me to try a higher dose of estrogen. He said it's the same amount that's in a birth control pill. He thinks that will help the pain. Supposedly it's not the Lupron that's causing the pain, but rather my body having no estrogen (or just very little, since I have been taking a small amount as ad-back). Anyway, we'll try this and see what happens. He suggested I do not take the next round of Lupron. I, of course, was not planning on it. I'm having a lot of this cold feeling in the back of my arms today. I took Ibuprofen for the body aches this morning, but I'm still feeling pretty achy...I guess it's partially because I'm having more joint pain.
12/23-28 - I have been really bad writing in here. With the holidays, I've not even had time to think about it. Everything has been same-'ol, same-'ol. Usual pains and aches. There hasn't been anything new to report. I have been really bad at taking my estrogen on a daily basis. I am SO forgetful when it comes to taking pills! Well, the pain killers have a constant reminder...every 4-5 hours, the pain comes back, so I take more. To take one pill a day around the same time...well, that's so hard for me to remember to do!!
12/23-28 - I have been really bad writing in here. With the holidays, I've not even had time to think about it. Everything has been same-'ol, same-'ol. Usual pains and aches. There hasn't been anything new to report. I have been really bad at taking my estrogen on a daily basis. I am SO forgetful when it comes to taking pills! Well, the pain killers have a constant reminder...every 4-5 hours, the pain comes back, so I take more. To take one pill a day around the same time...well, that's so hard for me to remember to do!!
Week 6 on Lupron | December 15th - 21st
12/15 - Today was the first day that I took Dilaudid during the day. It makes me sleepy, but not to the point that I can't handle staying awake. I'm just a bit slow thinking on it, but not so bad that I can't function correctly. I do not get the euphoria that my doc said I would get. I feel a lot more normal on this than I do on Percocet. By the way he had described Dilaudid, I would have thought otherwise. I felt pretty good today...as long as I take my medicine no less than every 6 hours, then I'm good. I noticed that I get headaches from this medication. So far it hasn't been unbearable...it's easier to deal with than the pain in the rest of my body.
12/16 - I called the pharmacist today to see if I could take Ibuprofen with the Dilaudid for my headaches. He said that was fine. I had a POUNDING headache today, and took an Ibuprofen 600, which did not take the headache away completely. I think I'm going to start taking the Ibuprofen each time I take a Dilaudid (so, every 6 hours). Hopefully that will help.
12/17 - I didn't take the Dilaudid last night so that I could sleep better. It's funny, because I sleep better with pain than the weird things this drug does to my brain while I'm sleeping. I don't know why it doesn't make me that weird during the day, but I am so jumpy and anxious while trying to sleep while on it. I woke up with a pounding headache. I took my drugs and a few hours later the headache started going away. I am so sick of playing this cat and mouse game. I just want to feel normal again.
12/18 - Once again, I woke up with a pounding headache. I hadn't taken the Dilaudid last night before bed again....I'll have to do so tonight. It took a few hours to get the headache to go away completely. I have been noticing this last week or so that I have this random cold feeling in my arms...like someone put ice on them...but it's always on the bottom/back side of my arm, from my elbow down. I think there's something wrong with my nerves. I'm really starting to get scared. There's so much weird stuff going on with my body. I didn't think to write anything earlier this week, because I thought I was just getting sick, but my right lymph node on my neck has been hurting since Tuesday (the 14th). I was expecting that I would be getting a sore throat or a cold of some sort, but nothing has come from it. We'll see what happens with that.
12/16 - I called the pharmacist today to see if I could take Ibuprofen with the Dilaudid for my headaches. He said that was fine. I had a POUNDING headache today, and took an Ibuprofen 600, which did not take the headache away completely. I think I'm going to start taking the Ibuprofen each time I take a Dilaudid (so, every 6 hours). Hopefully that will help.
12/17 - I didn't take the Dilaudid last night so that I could sleep better. It's funny, because I sleep better with pain than the weird things this drug does to my brain while I'm sleeping. I don't know why it doesn't make me that weird during the day, but I am so jumpy and anxious while trying to sleep while on it. I woke up with a pounding headache. I took my drugs and a few hours later the headache started going away. I am so sick of playing this cat and mouse game. I just want to feel normal again.
12/18 - Once again, I woke up with a pounding headache. I hadn't taken the Dilaudid last night before bed again....I'll have to do so tonight. It took a few hours to get the headache to go away completely. I have been noticing this last week or so that I have this random cold feeling in my arms...like someone put ice on them...but it's always on the bottom/back side of my arm, from my elbow down. I think there's something wrong with my nerves. I'm really starting to get scared. There's so much weird stuff going on with my body. I didn't think to write anything earlier this week, because I thought I was just getting sick, but my right lymph node on my neck has been hurting since Tuesday (the 14th). I was expecting that I would be getting a sore throat or a cold of some sort, but nothing has come from it. We'll see what happens with that.
I called a friend of my family, who was my first gynecologist, and has been my mom's for around 25 years. I am just worried about taking so many pain killers for what will be such a long period of time. Especially the type of drugs I'm on. My body is already dependent on it...which is why I'm getting such bad headaches when I don't take the Dilaudid for overnight. My current doctor is so nonchalant about the effects that drugs have. I have shared my concern about being on these, but he just pushes it aside. Anyway, I just wanted to get another professional's opinion. He was very surprised that I was put on Dilaudid. He said it's not something he would have given because of the dependency issue, and that he would have done some hormone therapies before giving pain killers. He explained that testosterone can help relieve joint pain. He also advised me to not take the next round of Lupron. He said that I should consider having a hysterectomy. I explained that I just can't do that right now, because I don't have 6 weeks to recover....I have a 10 month old baby! Anyway, he said that they now can do a hysterectomy laparoscopically and that the recovery time is more like 7-10 days!! WOW!! I had no idea! In this case, I am going to definitely NOT do the next round. I just can't take this pain anymore. I'm also going to talk to my doctor this next week (I have an appointment for Wednesday), about trying the hormone therapy to try and get off these pain killers. I hope this will help.
12/19 - Normal day...well, normal for me these days, which means, pain everywhere, on Dilaudid and Ibuprofen every 4 hours.
12/20 - Interesting day. I woke up with the usual pains and aches. I took my Dilaudid and Ibuprofen. Usually, after 4 hours I start feeling pain again, and will then take more drugs. Although, today was different. I started having the body aches after 4 or 5 hours, but the joint pain wasn't coming back as strong as it normally does. I decided to wait to take more meds to see what happens with the pain. The pain never got bad enough for me to take more Dilaudid. The body aches did, which has always gone away with Ibuprofen, so I took some of that. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! Is my joint pain going away now?!?!?!? Am I on the downhill from here? Oh, how I hope I will have no more joint pain. It's hard to imagine not having constant pain! It's funny how quickly one can forget how easy life was without chronic pain. Like I said...it's not all the way gone, but it's certainly not as bad as it was! I feel like I can do things without wanting to sit and cry from the pain. Yes...it was still that bad...even on Dilaudid.
12/21 - I went a WHOLE DAY without taking Dilaudid! I'm still on the Ibuprofen, because of the body aches, but I had only mild joint pain all day. At around 9pm I started having more pain than I've had all day, but still not enough to take Dilaudid. I'm so happy!! :D Oh, and the lymph node in my neck no longer hurts. I never got a sore throat or a cold or anything, so that was kind of random...but the pain is gone. The headaches I was getting before are also gone...at least in the last two days I haven't gotten any.
NEW SYMPTOMS::
- Cold feeling in my arms
- Major headaches (I think from the Dilaudid)
- More pain in knees
Friday, December 10, 2010
Random Thoughts
I've had a few random thoughts regarding my treatment so far that I wanted to share. For one, I am baffled by the way the side effects come and go so quickly (other than the joint pain and body aches...at least so far, they don't ever go away). As I wrote a couple of weeks ago about my MAJOR memory issues, I haven't had issues with that since. I also have the night sweats/hot flashes very randomly....I really don't get them very often, but I'm not sure what makes that suddenly come on and then not come back for a week.
I'm really scared for how painful my body aches and joint pain are going to become. I have only had them for a couple of weeks, and I'm worried that they're going to get worse. I already can't find medication that works (other than the Darvocet, that's been pulled from the market, so I can't get that anymore), so what am I going to do if and when it gets worse?!
I don't know if I'm going to do the next round. My husband and my mom don't want me to. I see their point in the fact that I'm in a lot of pain, but I also don't want these last 3 months to be a waste!! I haven't spoken to my doctor about that, but it's in the back of my mind. I've read that a lot of people's side effects get worse, which I'm terrified of happening.
Anyway, those are my thoughts for the moment. :)
I'm really scared for how painful my body aches and joint pain are going to become. I have only had them for a couple of weeks, and I'm worried that they're going to get worse. I already can't find medication that works (other than the Darvocet, that's been pulled from the market, so I can't get that anymore), so what am I going to do if and when it gets worse?!
I don't know if I'm going to do the next round. My husband and my mom don't want me to. I see their point in the fact that I'm in a lot of pain, but I also don't want these last 3 months to be a waste!! I haven't spoken to my doctor about that, but it's in the back of my mind. I've read that a lot of people's side effects get worse, which I'm terrified of happening.
Anyway, those are my thoughts for the moment. :)
Week 5 on Lupron | December 8th - 14th
12/8 – Although my reaction to Ultram happened after coming out of a surgical procedure; so it may have had some weird effect because of another drug I may have been on, I just don’t dare take it again. I am going to try and wait to talk to my doctor in two weeks to see what other pain killer I can try. I feel so funny calling all the time….with the request of trying something different.
12/9- I was in too much pain today to wait for another 2 weeks to talk to the doctor. It’s all the usual pain: achy feeling allover my body, with lots of pain in my joints…especially when I use them. I just want to lay in bed and not move a muscle; which of course, I can’t do. I called my doctor, and he has prescribed me Fioricet. I just hope it works….without making me sick. I’m tired of trying more and more drugs. I just want to find something that works without making me ‘loopy’, and that I’m able to function while taking, as well as of course having it take my pain away. We’ll see.
12/10 - I took a Fioricet yesterday evening, and it really seemed to do nothing....well, I guess I shouldn't say that. It did take away my flu-like feeling (the full body aches). But, as for the throbbing joint pain....yeah, it didn't even phase that. I was waking up a lot last night because of the pain. If my knees are bent for a while, then they start throbbing; if I lay on my side, then my shoulder starts throbbing; if I lay on my back, the my toes start throbbing from where the blankets are pressing on them. This morning I took another Fioricet, and again, was having all the same joint pain...but it did again help the body aches. I really didn't want to call him yet AGAIN today. I feel so very embarrassed at calling the doctor all the time asking for more drugs. But, I just feel like I can't be in this pain for another week and a half before I go in to see him again. I decided to call. I, of course, spoke to his nurse, and he called me back a little later. He told me he really didn't know what else to put me on because I've tried everything. He suggested that I try the Fioricet along with Ibuprofen 600. I have tried that this evening, and it seems to make the pain not quite as intense, but it's not gone. We'll see how I feel this weekend. I REALLY hope this works. For one thing, it doesn't make me sick or 'loopy' at all. I feel very normal on it. I really don't want to have to go on something that makes me halfway gone-mentally. Anyway...only time will tell.
12/11 - Well, my pain is mostly gone, as long as I take my meds every 6 hours on the dot. It actually starts coming back after about 5 hours, but I still wait for that 6th hour to take more. I have always been one who if I have a headache, won't take painkillers until I can't stand it anymore. And, here I am taking a LOT of pain medication constantly...and I'm guessing that I'll be doing so for at least 5 more months. I wonder how long it will be before my body gets used to these pain medications, and starts hurting again even while I'm on them. Anyway, I guess at least I am able to control the pain. I just really hope I don't get more health problems because of all this medication I'm on. That really scares me. And, today, I've been on the verge of crying all day. I feel emotionally un-attached to my family, and some suicidal thoughts are creeping in. I completely have freaked out on my husband about leaving a bottle of honey on the table, when my 5 and 3 year olds started playing in it. (They were putting it on some bread, but had it ALL OVER the place). I don't normally do that when I'm not depressed....this is how I acted when I was having depression from the birth control. I mean, yes, it's annoying that he can't just put the honey away, or throw the apple core away that he left on the floor the night before, but would I normally completely come unglued because of that....no. I would mutter to myself how messy he can be, but that's about it. I am so disappointed that I'm getting depression. I truly thought I was out of the woods with that side effect. I am, though, still waiting for it to just suddenly go away. I REALLY hope that I won't have to call my doctor again on Monday asking for more drugs. How can my body keep up with all this crap I'm putting into it. I wish I had known that I was done having kids before I had to start Lupron. I would have had a partial hysterectomy. But, I was still unsure of the future in that department, so of course, that's not the route I wanted to go at the time. I'm so scared that one or all (I have 3) of my daughters will have problems with this. My mom did, and had a hysterectomy in her early 30's. Although, they didn't have as many options back then. I just want my daughters to have normal young lives with no health problems. Honestly, I would NEVER recommend Lupron to anyone who was done having children...no matter her age!! If she's had at least one child, doesn't want more, and has endo, then just get a partial hysterectomy!! There are just SO MANY side effects to this drug.
12/12 - What a day. Woke up depressed...crying most of the day. And, of course, my poor family gets to deal with me. By the evening, I wasn't feeling so bad anymore in the way of depression, anyway. I have still had pain in my hands and arms all afternoon and evening, even while taking the pain killers. I don't know if it is becoming worse (so, if I wasn't on the pain killers, if the pain would be even more; or if my body is just quickly adjusting to the drugs I'm taking, and now needs more). I have only been on this particular concoction for a few days, so I imagine the pain is worsening. I'm glad this day is over. I hope tomorrow is better. I really do not want to go back on anti-depressants, but of course will if the depression is going to stick around.
12/13 - Hurt all day. The usual...joint pain as well as random shooting pain up my arms. I called my doctor to let him know that the Fioricet and Ibuprofen are not working. I don't know why they worked for the first couple of days, and now it's almost like I have taken nothing, but that's what's happened. I think the pain is just getting worse. I kind of feel like a broken record writing this right now!! Anyway, he is at a loss, and doesn't know what else to prescribe. He said he's never had someone have so much pain with the Lupron, to where he isn't able to help manage the pain. He prescribed me Dilaudid. He said it is not something he ever prescribes for this type of pain, as it's a VERY strong pain killer, and is normally prescribed for patients that have just had surgery. He explained to me that it would probably make me more incapacitated from the side effects of it than I am with the pain, but to try it to see. Also, that the side effects I can expect from Dilaudid are dizziness, sleepiness, and euphoria....but that ALL my pain will be gone. I took one tonight and it took all my pain away, but I didn't get the dizziness and euphoria. It made me a bit sleepy, but didn't knock me out like the doctor told me it probably would. Although, I took it and had gone to bed...watched a couple of shows on TV, but didn't fall asleep or anything. So, I am not sure of how it will be when it's the middle of the day and I'm walking around...I may get the dizziness then. Both the doctor and the pharmacist stressed that I do not take this and drive.
12/14 - I was driving all day, and having a lot of pain in my hands from holding the steering wheel. I of course couldn't take the Dilaudid and drive since I'm not familiar with how it is with my body. I took the Fioricet and Ibuprofen every 4 hours, rather than every 6, as it was prescribed. That worked better than every 6 hours, but still I was in pain. I took a Dilaudid at night when I went to bed. It works really well taking the pain away. I do seem to have weird dreams on this, though. I can't remember what they are, but I will wake up not long after I have been asleep (maybe an hour), and I'll have that feeling like I just got jolted awake because of my dream. I have a hard time falling back asleep after that, too. So weird.
NEW SYMPTOMS::
12/9- I was in too much pain today to wait for another 2 weeks to talk to the doctor. It’s all the usual pain: achy feeling allover my body, with lots of pain in my joints…especially when I use them. I just want to lay in bed and not move a muscle; which of course, I can’t do. I called my doctor, and he has prescribed me Fioricet. I just hope it works….without making me sick. I’m tired of trying more and more drugs. I just want to find something that works without making me ‘loopy’, and that I’m able to function while taking, as well as of course having it take my pain away. We’ll see.
12/10 - I took a Fioricet yesterday evening, and it really seemed to do nothing....well, I guess I shouldn't say that. It did take away my flu-like feeling (the full body aches). But, as for the throbbing joint pain....yeah, it didn't even phase that. I was waking up a lot last night because of the pain. If my knees are bent for a while, then they start throbbing; if I lay on my side, then my shoulder starts throbbing; if I lay on my back, the my toes start throbbing from where the blankets are pressing on them. This morning I took another Fioricet, and again, was having all the same joint pain...but it did again help the body aches. I really didn't want to call him yet AGAIN today. I feel so very embarrassed at calling the doctor all the time asking for more drugs. But, I just feel like I can't be in this pain for another week and a half before I go in to see him again. I decided to call. I, of course, spoke to his nurse, and he called me back a little later. He told me he really didn't know what else to put me on because I've tried everything. He suggested that I try the Fioricet along with Ibuprofen 600. I have tried that this evening, and it seems to make the pain not quite as intense, but it's not gone. We'll see how I feel this weekend. I REALLY hope this works. For one thing, it doesn't make me sick or 'loopy' at all. I feel very normal on it. I really don't want to have to go on something that makes me halfway gone-mentally. Anyway...only time will tell.
12/11 - Well, my pain is mostly gone, as long as I take my meds every 6 hours on the dot. It actually starts coming back after about 5 hours, but I still wait for that 6th hour to take more. I have always been one who if I have a headache, won't take painkillers until I can't stand it anymore. And, here I am taking a LOT of pain medication constantly...and I'm guessing that I'll be doing so for at least 5 more months. I wonder how long it will be before my body gets used to these pain medications, and starts hurting again even while I'm on them. Anyway, I guess at least I am able to control the pain. I just really hope I don't get more health problems because of all this medication I'm on. That really scares me. And, today, I've been on the verge of crying all day. I feel emotionally un-attached to my family, and some suicidal thoughts are creeping in. I completely have freaked out on my husband about leaving a bottle of honey on the table, when my 5 and 3 year olds started playing in it. (They were putting it on some bread, but had it ALL OVER the place). I don't normally do that when I'm not depressed....this is how I acted when I was having depression from the birth control. I mean, yes, it's annoying that he can't just put the honey away, or throw the apple core away that he left on the floor the night before, but would I normally completely come unglued because of that....no. I would mutter to myself how messy he can be, but that's about it. I am so disappointed that I'm getting depression. I truly thought I was out of the woods with that side effect. I am, though, still waiting for it to just suddenly go away. I REALLY hope that I won't have to call my doctor again on Monday asking for more drugs. How can my body keep up with all this crap I'm putting into it. I wish I had known that I was done having kids before I had to start Lupron. I would have had a partial hysterectomy. But, I was still unsure of the future in that department, so of course, that's not the route I wanted to go at the time. I'm so scared that one or all (I have 3) of my daughters will have problems with this. My mom did, and had a hysterectomy in her early 30's. Although, they didn't have as many options back then. I just want my daughters to have normal young lives with no health problems. Honestly, I would NEVER recommend Lupron to anyone who was done having children...no matter her age!! If she's had at least one child, doesn't want more, and has endo, then just get a partial hysterectomy!! There are just SO MANY side effects to this drug.
12/12 - What a day. Woke up depressed...crying most of the day. And, of course, my poor family gets to deal with me. By the evening, I wasn't feeling so bad anymore in the way of depression, anyway. I have still had pain in my hands and arms all afternoon and evening, even while taking the pain killers. I don't know if it is becoming worse (so, if I wasn't on the pain killers, if the pain would be even more; or if my body is just quickly adjusting to the drugs I'm taking, and now needs more). I have only been on this particular concoction for a few days, so I imagine the pain is worsening. I'm glad this day is over. I hope tomorrow is better. I really do not want to go back on anti-depressants, but of course will if the depression is going to stick around.
12/13 - Hurt all day. The usual...joint pain as well as random shooting pain up my arms. I called my doctor to let him know that the Fioricet and Ibuprofen are not working. I don't know why they worked for the first couple of days, and now it's almost like I have taken nothing, but that's what's happened. I think the pain is just getting worse. I kind of feel like a broken record writing this right now!! Anyway, he is at a loss, and doesn't know what else to prescribe. He said he's never had someone have so much pain with the Lupron, to where he isn't able to help manage the pain. He prescribed me Dilaudid. He said it is not something he ever prescribes for this type of pain, as it's a VERY strong pain killer, and is normally prescribed for patients that have just had surgery. He explained to me that it would probably make me more incapacitated from the side effects of it than I am with the pain, but to try it to see. Also, that the side effects I can expect from Dilaudid are dizziness, sleepiness, and euphoria....but that ALL my pain will be gone. I took one tonight and it took all my pain away, but I didn't get the dizziness and euphoria. It made me a bit sleepy, but didn't knock me out like the doctor told me it probably would. Although, I took it and had gone to bed...watched a couple of shows on TV, but didn't fall asleep or anything. So, I am not sure of how it will be when it's the middle of the day and I'm walking around...I may get the dizziness then. Both the doctor and the pharmacist stressed that I do not take this and drive.
12/14 - I was driving all day, and having a lot of pain in my hands from holding the steering wheel. I of course couldn't take the Dilaudid and drive since I'm not familiar with how it is with my body. I took the Fioricet and Ibuprofen every 4 hours, rather than every 6, as it was prescribed. That worked better than every 6 hours, but still I was in pain. I took a Dilaudid at night when I went to bed. It works really well taking the pain away. I do seem to have weird dreams on this, though. I can't remember what they are, but I will wake up not long after I have been asleep (maybe an hour), and I'll have that feeling like I just got jolted awake because of my dream. I have a hard time falling back asleep after that, too. So weird.
NEW SYMPTOMS::
- I have had a VERY painful shooting pain down the back of my left leg this evening. I did have shooting pains in my arms a couple of times a few weeks ago, but never again, and not this intense. I hope it's just a fluke and goes away. The pain killers didn't do a thing for this pain.
- I also felt very weepy this morning (12/10). That hasn't really happened yet, other than one day...only a few days after I first got the injection. My period would be due in the next 2-5 days normally, so I'm not sure if it has to do with that.
- Depression
Week 4 on Lupron | December 1st-7th
12/1 – I went to the doctor today. He seemed surprised by how badly my joints are hurting, and by the fact that it’s my whole body. I felt funny asking for narcotics, but I just can’t function with all the pain. He gave me more Darvocet. Anyway, the pain actually wasn’t too bad for most of today. That is, until I went to Costco and was pushing my heavy cart around, then I really started feeling it. I took some of my pain killers at around 6:00. By 10:00, I was in a lot of pain again. It started shooting up my arms; that’s a different type of pain than it was before. I had my husband massage my arms, and that really helped.
The new side effect that has come along today, is dizziness. At around 4:00 I started feeling dizzy; almost buzzed, really. It was weird. The more I moved, the dizzier I got. Twice I almost fell right over backwards. I absolutely could not catch my balance. I happened to be standing next to my my car the first time and my baby’s crib the 2nd time. Luckily I wasn’t in an open area with the baby in my arms. My gosh! Sometimes these side effects really make me scared that I may be an unfit mother….like falling over with a child in my arms.
Another side effect that I’ve had for a couple of weeks now, but I think I forgot to write about is memory loss. I have always been a bit of the forgetful side, but this is just incredibly worse. It’s weird because it comes and goes. I will be doing pretty good with it, and then I start forgetting everything. It’s actually hard to explain. It’s not so much that I’m forgetting to do little things here and there; it’s that I feel like I’m about to forget who I am. I will feel like any second I could just forget who my children are. I’ve thought about a close friend of mine, and honestly not been able to remember if she had 2 or 3 kids. I was pretty sure it was two, but really wasn’t sure if I was just forgetting one. It’s as if I’m standing on a tightrope, just waiting for the inevitable to happen. That’s the best way I can describe the feeling I have when my memory is really bad. I have cried a time or two because of it. What in the world would I do if I had no short term memory?! I couldn’t stay with my kids alone. When I’m having a ‘memory episode’, I guess I’ll call it, I have to sit and think about if my baby is just in the other room playing, or if she’s asleep. I worry that I’ve forgotten to keep an eye on her. What a terrible feeling.
12/2 – Today all the symptoms are pretty much the same, and I haven’t had any new ones. I’m sleepy as can be, which I’ve actually kind of just gotten used to. Joint pain was there, and again I had shooting pain up my right arm. I took a Darvocet at 7:30 this morning, and haven’t taken another yet. I’m really trying to take as few as possible, so I wait until the pain is unbearable. Sometimes a random joint will just start THROBBING. It will absolutely just stop me in my tracks. Even with the pain I’m having; I would say the worse side effect is the memory loss. I can deal with the pain (as long as my husband will let me complain to him about it here and there), but the mental issues I just can’t take! I do not take for granted that I haven’t gotten depression from this. I do not forget that things could be worse, and that they possibly could change at any time.
12/3 – Funny story. I went to get my prescription for Darvocet filled at Wal Mart. I actually never get them filled there…I usually go to my local Smith’s, but I needed to do a little shopping, so I thought I’d do it all at once. Not to mention, that I was in pain, and took my last Darvocet last night. So, I stand in the line for around 10 minutes (might I add, I had all 3 of my kids with me…who are 5 and under). I finally get up to the counter, and the guy tells me that my driver’s license is expired, so I can’t fill the prescription. (It expired 2 weeks ago…I didn’t even realize it). So, I call my husband, who was just getting off work and heading to a study group for the rest of the day/evening. He said he would meet me there so I could get the prescription filled. I’m really in lots of pain by this time…so much walking around. Not only that, I’m as tired as could be. Anyway, so he gets there, and we again stand in line to get the prescription filled. It was a different person this time, and she looks at the script, and immediately tells me that this drug has been recalled because it gives heart problems. I was so frustrated that the first guy didn’t tell me that! I called my doctor’s office, and it was closed….they close up at 2:00 on Fridays. So, I guess I’ll wait until Monday. I had some Percocet 5 from a previous surgery, so I took half of one of those. It really didn’t do much for the pain. I mean….it did take away the achy pain in my bones….that flu-like pain I have. But, as for the joint pain that hurts so much when I move….it didn’t take that away.
12/4 – I started taking half a percocet with Ibuprofen 800 today. That’s the best concoction so far; that is, other than just a Darvocet. Although, it still doesn’t work 100%. I will still have random shooting pains from different joints, as well as joints starting to throb for a while, and then stop. I’m not sure what’s going on with them. It worries me. Could it be permanent? Of course something bad is happening with them, or they wouldn’t hurt….right?
12/6- I took my prescription back to the doctor because my new concoction I created was okay the first time, and then it started making me sick. He wrote me a new prescription for Ultram. I took one tonight, and it gave me a headache, but it wasn’t horrible. We’ll see how it keeps working.
12/7 – I had a small surgical procedure today, and when I got home, I took an Ultram. I was very sick all day with a pounding headache and I was VERY nauseated. I figured it was just from the anesthesia. So, in the evening, I took another Utram, hoping it would take my headache away, but it made it worse, as well as made me vomit. When I was done, my stomach felt a lot better, and my head progressively got better throughout the night. I will never take one of those again!!
The new side effect that has come along today, is dizziness. At around 4:00 I started feeling dizzy; almost buzzed, really. It was weird. The more I moved, the dizzier I got. Twice I almost fell right over backwards. I absolutely could not catch my balance. I happened to be standing next to my my car the first time and my baby’s crib the 2nd time. Luckily I wasn’t in an open area with the baby in my arms. My gosh! Sometimes these side effects really make me scared that I may be an unfit mother….like falling over with a child in my arms.
Another side effect that I’ve had for a couple of weeks now, but I think I forgot to write about is memory loss. I have always been a bit of the forgetful side, but this is just incredibly worse. It’s weird because it comes and goes. I will be doing pretty good with it, and then I start forgetting everything. It’s actually hard to explain. It’s not so much that I’m forgetting to do little things here and there; it’s that I feel like I’m about to forget who I am. I will feel like any second I could just forget who my children are. I’ve thought about a close friend of mine, and honestly not been able to remember if she had 2 or 3 kids. I was pretty sure it was two, but really wasn’t sure if I was just forgetting one. It’s as if I’m standing on a tightrope, just waiting for the inevitable to happen. That’s the best way I can describe the feeling I have when my memory is really bad. I have cried a time or two because of it. What in the world would I do if I had no short term memory?! I couldn’t stay with my kids alone. When I’m having a ‘memory episode’, I guess I’ll call it, I have to sit and think about if my baby is just in the other room playing, or if she’s asleep. I worry that I’ve forgotten to keep an eye on her. What a terrible feeling.
12/2 – Today all the symptoms are pretty much the same, and I haven’t had any new ones. I’m sleepy as can be, which I’ve actually kind of just gotten used to. Joint pain was there, and again I had shooting pain up my right arm. I took a Darvocet at 7:30 this morning, and haven’t taken another yet. I’m really trying to take as few as possible, so I wait until the pain is unbearable. Sometimes a random joint will just start THROBBING. It will absolutely just stop me in my tracks. Even with the pain I’m having; I would say the worse side effect is the memory loss. I can deal with the pain (as long as my husband will let me complain to him about it here and there), but the mental issues I just can’t take! I do not take for granted that I haven’t gotten depression from this. I do not forget that things could be worse, and that they possibly could change at any time.
12/3 – Funny story. I went to get my prescription for Darvocet filled at Wal Mart. I actually never get them filled there…I usually go to my local Smith’s, but I needed to do a little shopping, so I thought I’d do it all at once. Not to mention, that I was in pain, and took my last Darvocet last night. So, I stand in the line for around 10 minutes (might I add, I had all 3 of my kids with me…who are 5 and under). I finally get up to the counter, and the guy tells me that my driver’s license is expired, so I can’t fill the prescription. (It expired 2 weeks ago…I didn’t even realize it). So, I call my husband, who was just getting off work and heading to a study group for the rest of the day/evening. He said he would meet me there so I could get the prescription filled. I’m really in lots of pain by this time…so much walking around. Not only that, I’m as tired as could be. Anyway, so he gets there, and we again stand in line to get the prescription filled. It was a different person this time, and she looks at the script, and immediately tells me that this drug has been recalled because it gives heart problems. I was so frustrated that the first guy didn’t tell me that! I called my doctor’s office, and it was closed….they close up at 2:00 on Fridays. So, I guess I’ll wait until Monday. I had some Percocet 5 from a previous surgery, so I took half of one of those. It really didn’t do much for the pain. I mean….it did take away the achy pain in my bones….that flu-like pain I have. But, as for the joint pain that hurts so much when I move….it didn’t take that away.
12/4 – I started taking half a percocet with Ibuprofen 800 today. That’s the best concoction so far; that is, other than just a Darvocet. Although, it still doesn’t work 100%. I will still have random shooting pains from different joints, as well as joints starting to throb for a while, and then stop. I’m not sure what’s going on with them. It worries me. Could it be permanent? Of course something bad is happening with them, or they wouldn’t hurt….right?
12/6- I took my prescription back to the doctor because my new concoction I created was okay the first time, and then it started making me sick. He wrote me a new prescription for Ultram. I took one tonight, and it gave me a headache, but it wasn’t horrible. We’ll see how it keeps working.
12/7 – I had a small surgical procedure today, and when I got home, I took an Ultram. I was very sick all day with a pounding headache and I was VERY nauseated. I figured it was just from the anesthesia. So, in the evening, I took another Utram, hoping it would take my headache away, but it made it worse, as well as made me vomit. When I was done, my stomach felt a lot better, and my head progressively got better throughout the night. I will never take one of those again!!
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