My History That's Led Me Here

Well, I guess I should start in the beginning, so there’s a basis to all of this.  I am 27 years old.  I had endometriosis from the very beginning….so since I was 13.  I had been put on birth control to see if that would help the symptoms of endo (the extreme cramping and super heavy flow).  It didn’t help in the least, so I underwent a laparascopic surgery, which confirmed the endometriosis.  I also had cysts on my ovaries.  Of course, it was all cleaned out, and I was to stay on the birth control.  I always had troubles with birth control.  Usually it would make me sick to my stomach, so I would end up switching brands.  I think I have tried them all.  I never had problems with endometriosis again, that is, until now.  I feel very fortunate that it didn’t come back for 12 years, and I have been able to lead a normal and pain-free life.  I have 3 beautiful children, who I had absolutely no problems conceiving.  After my last baby, who was born almost exactly 9 months ago, I started having a lot of pain associated with my periods.  It took me a while to figure it out, because I had a c-section, in which I had a hard recovery from.  (In the internal incision, a nerve was tied into the ending on the sutures.  I unfortunately had to wait it out until the sutures dissolved, which takes 4 weeks.  I had pain for months from that.  I was very worried about having permanent nerve damage, but thankfully everything is back to normal).  Anyway, because of the pain from the c-section, I thought that my periods were painful from that, at first.  I also had cramping in the middle of the month, when I was ovulating.  Another symptom I had this time that I don’t remember having when I was a teenager, was that I had irritable bowl syndrome, which is commonly associated with endo.
I should also add that I have suffered from depression for years.  I had it when I was a teen, but didn’t realize that’s what it was.  After my 2nd daughter was born (almost 4 years ago), the depression got very bad, and I finally called the doctor about it.  I was put on Zoloft.  I remember the day it kicked in.  I think it took 4 weeks, but was a dramatic difference once it did.  I was on that for over a year, when I spoke to my doctor about my lack of libido, and he switched my anti-depressants to Wellbutrin, as one of common side effects of that is an increase in libido.  I didn’t see a dramtic difference.  During the time I was on Zoloft, once in a while it didn’t seem to work; and when it wasn’t working, the depression symptoms were much worse than before.  I started getting suicidal.  I hadn’t told my doctor this, as I was very embarrassed by that fact.  I’m not sure if the Wellbutrin made things worse, or if my depression was just getting worse, but each time that the happy pills wouldn’t work, I would get more and more suicidal.  The last time I had an ‘episode’, I was very, very close to doing it.  I think I may have, had my husband not come home at that time.  Anyway, after having my last baby, for one reason or another, I didn’t ever make it in to the doctor to get back onto some birth control.  I actually had several appointments made, but things just kept coming up that I would have to re-schedule.  When my baby was 2 months old, I had a pregnancy scare.  I stopped taking the Wellbutrin immediately, and waited it out.  Luckily, there was no pregnancy!!  During that time, I was expecting myself to become depressed, but it never happened!  I was happy and felt NORMAL.  Something that was so new to me.  I still had some anxiety, but nothing that would make me want to be medicated over.  I firmly believe it was the birth control that was giving me the depression for all these years.  This was such a breakthrough for me, and such a blessing to find out!
So, back to the endo.  My doctor wanted me to try going on Lupron before having surgery for the endo.  Being that one of the side effects of Lupron is depression, I was just sure that I would get it, and that it would be worse than ever before, being that my estrogen would be shut off (or at least almost so).  I was unwilling to have depression again without knowing for certain that I even needed the medication.  I opted to have surgery to see if it really was endo; and it was.  I also had a complex cyst on one of my ovaries.    I started Lupron on November 9, 2010.  I couldn’t have been more scared to start this medication.  I had researched online the side effects, and read reviews of other people who had been on it.  It sounded like pure hell.  That’s what my husband and I planned for….6 months of hell.  I decided to do the Lupron rather than birth control because I couldn’t give myself depression again.  I knew without a doubt that birth control would do that.  I was quite certain Lupron would too, but I could see an end to that road…so it’s the one I took.
Anyway, that’s my story of why I’m on this drug.  I will update sometimes daily, if there are any events, and if not, I’ll update weekly.  Happy reading!