Week 5 on Lupron | December 8th - 14th

12/8 – Although my reaction to Ultram happened after coming out of a surgical procedure; so it may have had some weird effect because of another drug I may have been on, I just don’t dare take it again.  I am going to try and wait to talk to my doctor in two weeks to see what other pain killer I can try.  I feel so funny calling all the time….with the request of trying something different.

12/9- I  was in too much pain today to wait for another 2 weeks to talk to the doctor.  It’s all the usual pain: achy feeling allover my body, with lots of pain in my joints…especially when I use them.  I just want to lay in bed and not move a muscle; which of course, I can’t do.  I called my doctor, and he has prescribed me Fioricet.  I just hope it works….without making me sick.  I’m tired of trying more and more drugs.  I just want to find something that works without making me ‘loopy’, and that I’m able to function while taking, as well as of course having it take my pain away.  We’ll see.

12/10 - I took a Fioricet yesterday evening, and it really seemed to do nothing....well, I guess I shouldn't say that.  It did take away my flu-like feeling (the full body aches).  But, as for the throbbing joint pain....yeah, it didn't even phase that.  I was waking up a lot last night because of the pain.  If my knees are bent for a while, then they start throbbing; if I lay on my side, then my shoulder starts throbbing; if I lay on my back, the my toes start throbbing from where the blankets are pressing on them.  This morning I took another Fioricet, and again, was having all the same joint pain...but it did again help the body aches.  I really didn't want to call him yet AGAIN today.  I feel so very embarrassed at calling the doctor all the time asking for more drugs.  But, I just feel like I can't be in this pain for another week and a half before I go in to see him again.  I decided to call.  I, of course, spoke to his nurse, and he called me back a little later.  He told me he really didn't know what else to put me on because I've tried everything.  He suggested that I try the Fioricet along with Ibuprofen 600.  I have tried that this evening, and it seems to make the pain not quite as intense, but it's not gone.  We'll see how I feel this weekend.  I REALLY hope this works.  For one thing, it doesn't make me sick or 'loopy' at all.  I feel very normal on it.  I really don't want to have to go on something that makes me halfway gone-mentally.  Anyway...only time will tell.

12/11 - Well, my pain is mostly gone, as long as I take my meds every 6 hours on the dot.  It actually starts coming back after about 5 hours, but I still wait for that 6th hour to take more.  I have always been one who if I have a headache, won't take painkillers until I can't stand it anymore.  And, here I am taking a LOT of pain medication constantly...and I'm guessing that I'll be doing so for at least 5 more months.  I wonder how long it will be before my body gets used to these pain medications, and starts hurting again even while I'm on them.  Anyway, I guess at least I am able to control the pain.  I just really hope I don't get more health problems because of all this medication I'm on.  That really scares me.  And, today, I've been on the verge of crying all day.  I feel emotionally un-attached to my family, and some suicidal thoughts are creeping in.  I completely have freaked out on my husband about leaving a bottle of honey on the table, when my 5 and 3 year olds started playing in it.  (They were putting it on some bread, but had it ALL OVER the place).  I don't normally do that when I'm not depressed....this is how I acted when I was having depression from the birth control.  I mean, yes, it's annoying that he can't just put the honey away, or throw the apple core away that he left on the floor the night before, but would I normally completely come unglued because of that....no.  I would mutter to myself how messy he can be, but that's about it.  I am so disappointed that I'm getting depression.  I truly thought I was out of the woods with that side effect.  I am, though, still waiting for it to just suddenly go away.  I REALLY hope that I won't have to call my doctor again on Monday asking for more drugs.  How can my body keep up with all this crap I'm putting into it.  I wish I had known that I was done having kids before I had to start Lupron.  I would have had a partial hysterectomy.  But, I was still unsure of the future in that department, so of course, that's not the route I wanted to go at the time.  I'm so scared that one or all (I have 3) of my daughters will have problems with this.  My mom did, and had a hysterectomy in her early 30's.  Although, they didn't have as many options back then.  I just want my daughters to have normal young lives with no health problems.  Honestly, I would NEVER recommend Lupron to anyone who was done having children...no matter her age!!  If she's had at least one child, doesn't want more, and has endo, then just get a partial hysterectomy!!  There are just SO MANY side effects to this drug.

12/12 - What a day.  Woke up depressed...crying most of the day.  And, of course, my poor family gets to deal with me.  By the evening, I wasn't feeling so bad anymore in the way of depression, anyway.  I have still had pain in my hands and arms all afternoon and evening, even while taking the pain killers.  I don't know if it is becoming worse (so, if I wasn't on the pain killers, if the pain would be even more; or if my body is just quickly adjusting to the drugs I'm taking, and now needs more).  I have only been on this particular concoction for a few days, so I imagine the pain is worsening.   I'm glad this day is over.  I hope tomorrow is better.  I really do not want to go back on anti-depressants, but of course will if the depression is going to stick around.

12/13 - Hurt all day.  The usual...joint pain as well as random shooting pain up my arms.  I called my doctor to let him know that the Fioricet and Ibuprofen are not working.  I don't know why they worked for the first couple of days, and now it's almost like I have taken nothing, but that's what's happened.  I think the pain is just getting worse.  I kind of feel like a broken record writing this right now!!  Anyway, he is at a loss, and doesn't know what else to prescribe.  He said he's never had someone have so much pain with the Lupron, to where he isn't able to help manage the pain.  He prescribed me Dilaudid.  He said it is not something he ever prescribes for this type of pain, as it's a VERY strong pain killer, and is normally prescribed for patients that have just had surgery.  He explained to me that it would probably make me more incapacitated from the side effects of it than I am with the pain, but to try it to see.  Also, that the side effects I can expect from Dilaudid are dizziness, sleepiness, and euphoria....but that ALL my pain will be gone.  I took one tonight and it took all my pain away, but I didn't get the dizziness and euphoria.  It made me a bit sleepy, but didn't knock me out like the doctor told me it probably would.  Although, I took it and had gone to bed...watched a couple of shows on TV, but didn't fall asleep or anything.  So, I am not sure of how it will be when it's the middle of the day and I'm walking around...I may get the dizziness then.  Both the doctor and the pharmacist stressed that I do not take this and drive.

12/14 -  I was driving all day, and having a lot of pain in my hands from holding the steering wheel.  I of course couldn't take the Dilaudid and drive since I'm not familiar with how it is with my body.  I took the Fioricet and Ibuprofen every 4 hours, rather than every 6, as it was prescribed.  That worked better than every 6 hours, but still I was in pain.  I took a Dilaudid at night when I went to bed.  It works really well taking the pain away.  I do seem to have weird dreams on this, though.  I can't remember what they are, but I will wake up not long after I have been asleep (maybe an hour), and I'll have that feeling like I just got jolted awake because of my dream.  I have a hard time falling back asleep after that, too.  So weird.  


NEW SYMPTOMS::  

• I have had a VERY painful shooting pain down the back of my left leg this evening.  I did have shooting pains in my arms a couple of times a few weeks ago, but never again, and not this intense.  I hope it's just a fluke and goes away.  The pain killers didn't do a thing for this pain.  

• I also felt very weepy this morning (12/10).  That hasn't really happened yet, other than one day...only a few days after I first got the injection.  My period would be due in the next 2-5 days normally, so I'm not sure if it has to do with that. 

• Depression